by Briana Packen O’Melveny
Remember the old Roadrunner cartoons where Wile E. Coyote realizes he’s chased the roadrunner off the cliff? Ironically, he floats in mid-air until the very moment he realizes there’s no ground beneath his feet. Only when his mind fluctuates back to self-consciousness does the transformation of impossible to possible evaporate.
Last class, I heard Lisa’s cue to observe moments of both transformation and fluctuation. I had the realization right there that for me, at this moment, they are the very same. My breath is deeper and more available to me than it’s ever been, yet so loud my mind shushes its slightest fluctuation as if it were a cell phone going off at the movies. This mind, so focused on asana and breath yet erratic and eager to critically analyze at the same time. My fleeting moments of transformation are more like little mini eyes of a storm encompassed by the fluctuating swirls of dust I’ve been kicking up for weeks now.
What’s thrown me off most are these fluctuating transformations in my everyday routine. In walking down my back steps today to do laundry, I notice for the first time, the physical act of walking down those steps in the sunshine on a particular day. I’ve taken that walk multiple times per week for years. And yet I am blown away by today’s discovery of my feet as they strike each concrete step. The sun at my back creates the shadow of my human on the brick building, absorbing me even more into this experience of my body descending the stairs. I become so incredibly present that I snap myself out of the absorption of this experience with my awareness of that very presence!
Here it is again: the moment when transformation is so rapidly devoured by the fluctuations of my mind. I remember gravity.
And the coyote falls.