by Katy Wang
During my daily Sadhana meditation at 6:15 this morning, I began to panic. My mind wandered to the fact that I still had nothing to submit for my blog entry. I had sat in front of my laptop for over an hour last night, but nothing of any significance had surfaced. My mind continued to wander and plunged deep into a habitual downward spiral of anxiety. I started imagining a disappointed look on Meghan’s face when I would walk into the studio later and tell her I had nothing for her to post. Then my whole body cringed at the dread of what others would think. They would assume that I just don’t care about teacher training. I even imagined myself running far, far away from my yoga mat, from New York, from this world. Then of course I started berating myself for even thinking these thoughts because I was supposed to be focusing on the visualization of my breath.
Then I remembered something Will mentioned last week when we were skyping him during teacher training. He suggested that if we found ourselves playing a situation or story in our heads, to allow ourselves to visualize the situation but imagine oneself making the decision of sitting down in that space and choosing to meditate. So I visualized myself walking away from my laptop, away from my apartment to Bread and Yoga, saying hello to Meghan and sitting down in a cross legged position on the ground. Finally, I visualized myself closing my eyes and seeing the inhale and exhale of my breath.
The gentle morning light greeted me from my apartment window. I was breathing steadily again. And I was meditating.
And now I am writing.
Welcome to our Teacher Trainee blog. Each week throughout our 200 Hour Teacher Training session, we’ll feature a blog post written by one of our trainees. Check back each Saturday for a new post!